


Something New

by benotafraidofwriting



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF), Video Blogging RPF
Genre: Anal Sex, Dirty Talk, Friends to Lovers, Lot of feelings, Love Confessions, M/M, Mutual Pining, Pining, Rimming, Rough Sex, Smut, So Much Dirty Talk, Some angst, brief mention of past Phil/Charlie, brief mention of past bullying, happy crying, ish, smut's probs too soft to call rough but w/e
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-06
Updated: 2019-11-06
Packaged: 2021-01-24 12:40:15
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,393
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21338389
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/benotafraidofwriting/pseuds/benotafraidofwriting
Summary: Dan wants Phil's help when trying something new, but can Phil keep his feelings for his best friend at bay?
Relationships: Dan Howell/Phil Lester
Comments: 2
Kudos: 105





	Something New

**Author's Note:**

> Hey, guys! I'm back! How are we feeling?  
Apologies for not posting for almost a year. Emotional breakdowns are fun.  
Anyway, here have this. Hope you like it! Please leave a kudos and/or comment if you do!  
Not betaed, all mistakes are my own.  
Happy reading!

Phil is pacing back and forth in his bedroom, chewing on his fingernails and trying desperately to tamp down the nervous feeling fluttering in his stomach.

Dan is due over any minute…and they were going to have sex. 

God, it sounds so clinical when he thinks of it like that, but it is true. 

It all started when Dan was over last week. Dan and Phil had been best friends since childhood and always had a game night every Friday. 

On this particular occasion, Dan seemed to be restless. Phil knew him well enough to know when something was bugging him.

“What’s wrong, Dan?” Phil asked, leaning over and pulling Dan into a cuddle. Their relationship had always been touchy-feely and they were comfortable with that. 

Dan had chewed on his bottom lip for a while, effectively distracting Phil, before answering.

“I overheard something Charlie said, in the locker room, today.” Dan started and Phil tensed. 

Phil and Charlie had dated for a few months, at the beginning of sophomore year in college. That ended after Phil caught Charlie actually attempting to shove Dan in a locker. Who the hell even did that? After giving Charlie a through chewing out and breaking up with him, Phil learned that Charlie had been bullying Dan for months. Dan never said anything because he ‘didn’t want to ruin Phil’s happiness’. Phil gave Dan a chewing out as well, albeit a lot more gentle. 

“Was he giving you any trouble?” Phil asked, pulling Dan onto his lap. 

Dan had shaken his head. “No, he didn’t even see me. I was in the shower, and he stayed out in the main locker area. But, he was talking about you, to his friends.”

“What did he say?” Phil prodded, snuggling into Dan’s neck. He blew a soft raspberry there, eliciting a wonderful giggle from the other boy.

“He, um,” Phil watched in fascination as Dan’s neck turned red, “He said that, uh, you were pretty rough in the bedroom.”

Dan turned wide, fearful brown eyes to Phil and Phil’s heart clenched painfully in his chest. The last thing he ever wanted was for Dan to be afraid of him and it seemed like hearing that bit of information about Phil’s sex life had done it. 

“Dan, I’m so sorry you had to hear that.” Phil said, loosening his hold on Dan in case the other boy was too disgusted to be touched by him and wanted to pull away. Instead, Dan relaxed further into Phil’s chest. 

“And it got me thinking,” Dan continued, his eyes staring at a spot directly over Phil’s shoulder. At least Dan didn’t seem to be scared of him. “I’ve never had rough sex before.”

Phil’s breath got stuck in his throat. He’d never heard Dan talk about his sex life before. It was just one of those topics that might push the boundary of friendship a bit too far. Now, however, Phil had the knowledge that Dan possibly had sex before and he didn’t know how to process that. Caught between a strange mix of jealousy and curiosity, Phil stayed silent, waiting for Dan to continue. 

“I want to try it,” Dan whooshed out in a single breath, turning even redder than before. “With you.”

The silence that followed was broken only by the sound of cars passing by on the road outside and Phil’s heartbeat yammering in his ears. There was no way Phil heard that right. Dan Howell wanted him? Not that thought Phil was averse to the idea of having sex with Dan, in fact, he would more than welcome it. He’d secretly been in love with Dan for years. The only reason he didn’t make a move was the fear of ruining their friendship. 

Dan, seemingly unnerved by Phil’s silence, quickly tried to backtrack. “Sorry, I shouldn’t have said anything. It’s just…I trust you.” Dan got up from Phil’s lap and started leaving the room. “Anyway, I’ll just go.”

Phil’s brain finally caught up at this moment and he practically leapt across the room from his bed and grabbed Dan’s wrist. “No!”

Dan had frozen, his eyes darting from the door, to Phil’s hand latched around his wrist, to Phil’s face.

“I’ll do it.” Phil found himself saying.

And that’s how Phil found himself waiting nervously for Dan to show up.

When he’d agreed to this, it was to show Dan that their friendship could survive anything, even sex. As the week went by, he’d justified this decision with other reasons. What if next time Dan decided to try it with someone who wouldn’t respect his boundaries? What if they pushed him too far and Dan would forever to be too traumatized to try it rough ever again? 

Deep down though, Phil knows these justifications were meaningless. He just wants Dan. He wants to feel Dan’s skin against his skin. He wants to map out all the sensitive spots on Dan’s body. He wants to be the one to make Dan gasp and moan and come. He wants to curl up with Dan after it’s all over, wants to give him gentle goodnight pecks all over his flushed skin, and wants to grow up and get married and have a white picket fenced house with Dan.

But, Phil would settle for this.

Downstairs, he hears the doorbell ring and his mum answering it. She and Phil’s dad were going out tonight, as they do every Friday night while the boys have their game night, so they wouldn’t be too suspicious about leaving them all alone in the house. 

Phil’s palms begin to sweat and he wipes them on his jeans. He and Dan had been talking all week over text, establishing boundaries and what Dan truly wanted from this experience. Now, though, as he hears Dan coming up the stairs and his parents leaving, it all seems to crash over him at once. 

He was going to have sex with the love of his life, who had no idea he was the love of Phil’s life. As far as Dan was concerned, this was just casual shagging between mates where Phil would help him figure stuff out. 

Before Phil could spiral even further down this rabbit hole of thought, Dan was opening his bedroom door and he was right there.

“Hey.” Dan says, closing the door behind him and just standing there.

“Hi.” Phil replies back, feeling light-headed. The air in his room was suddenly too thin as he looks over at Dan, who looks relatively calm. The only thing that betrays Dan’s nerves is the slight shaking of his hands as he rubs his arm uncomfortably.

Somehow, knowing Dan was nervous as well made Phil a little bit braver. 

“Ready?” Phil asks, keeping his eyes on Dan as he slowly stands up from his bed. “Remember your safe word?”

“Yeah.” Dan breathes, watching Phil watch him. He pulls off his jacket, letting it drop on the floor behind him.

“Remind me, please.” Phil requests. With Dan’s initiative, he too began taking off his clothes, reaching down and pulling his sweater over his head. 

Dan gulps, his brown eyes already glassy as he stares at Phil’s chest. “Delia Smith.”

There was a pause as their eyes met, and then they both burst out laughing. The tension dissipated somewhat and Phil relaxes a bit. 

“I still can’t believe you came up with that.” he giggles as he yanks off his shirt with more gusto than before.

“Well, your text said: ‘choose a word you wouldn’t normally say during sex’.” Dan chuckles as he shucks off his own shirt and his jeans. “That was the first thing that came to mind.” And suddenly, Dan was there, in front of Phil, both only in boxers.

“You’re so weird.” Phil shakes his head, reaching out to brush the back of his hand, almost instinctively, down Dan’s face. Dan just smiles, face glowing, and for a moment, Phil nearly forgets that this wasn’t real. He and Dan weren’t real, but Phil had entered another universe in which Dan was his to touch, lick, and tease to his heart’s content without reservation. 

Dan’s hand comes up to cover Phil’s, still smiling that life-ruining smile at Phil.

“Can I kiss you?” Phil asks shyly. 

He and Dan had already talked about this over text, whether or not kissing was ok. Dan had affirmed that it was, but Phil wants to ease Dan- and himself- into this new experience. 

Dan nods, tilting his head slightly. Phil leans forward, holding his breath as their lips barely brush. Then, Dan is grabbing the back of Phil’s head, almost yanking on the inky strands and pulling him into a slightly deeper kiss.

Phil had always wondered what kissing Dan would be like. Would it be explosive and all-consuming? Wild and passionate? Slow and sensual?

This, though, this is nothing like anything Phil had ever experienced before. The first thing Phil registers was how easy Dan’s lips melded with his own, and how natural it felt to push his tongue into Dan’s mouth and start exploring. This is right. This is how things should feel all the time. Kissing Dan felt like coming home after a long day of work, like smelling dinner cooking when you’re hungry, like a leaf crunching under your foot in autumn. So satisfying, and Phil’s heart sinks. If it was going to be like this the entire time, Phil had no idea how he would continue to uphold this passive façade. 

Pushing this thought out of his brain, Phil pulls Dan closer, licking into his mouth with renewed vigor as he takes control. After all, that’s why they’re here, right? So Dan can experience rough sex for the time?

With that, Phil spins them around and shoves Dan onto the bed. Dan goes down with a tiny shriek and giggle that turns into a contented hum as Phil covers his body with his own and kisses him again. Phil brings his hands up, brushing them over Dan’s warm chest before he finds Dan’s wrists and pins them over his head. 

Dan makes a soft sound at this action and arches his body up into Phil’s. 

Phil breaks the kiss. “Keep those hips on the bed.” He almost slips up and calls Dan ‘baby’, but catches himself just in time. He and Dan hadn’t discussed the use of pet names beforehand. 

“Ok.” Dan says, his chest heaving. He already looks a proper mess, his curly hair all over the place, his eyes glassy, and his lips puffy and spit-slicked. 

God, Phil wants him so much, and not just the one time. He wants this to be more, and his entire being aches with longing. Dan’s staring up at him eagerly and, all of a sudden, Phil simply can’t. He can’t just fuck Dan and remain impartial. He either had to confess his feelings, or put a stop to this entirely. He opts for the latter. 

“Dan, I’m very sorry.” Phil sighs, pulling away from the other boy and sitting back on the bed. “I can’t do this.”

As Phil turns away to bury his face in his hands, he could’ve swore he saw a flash of fear in Dan’s eyes.

“Why? What’s wrong?” Dan asks hurriedly, “Are you not attracted to me or something?”

“No.” Phil drops his hands and shakes his head frantically, eager to assure Dan there was nothing wrong with him. It was Phil, all Phil, and his stupid feelings.

“Oh,” Dan says awkwardly, sitting up as well. Out of the corner of his eye, Phil saw him wrap his arms around his knees self-consciously and rest his cheek on his hands. “Well, that’s fine. You don’t have to do anything you don’t want to.”

He sounds so miserable and self-depreciating, Phil’s walls crumble.

“It’s not that I don’t want to.” Phil says before he can stop himself.

“Then, why?” Dan asks, turning to face Phil again.

Cursing himself, Phil makes a decision to just be honest this time. Dan deserves honesty and it felt like Phil had strung him along long enough. 

“Because I love you, Dan,” Phil whispers to the floor. “I love you so much and I’m sorry I didn’t tell you beforehand.” Phil sniffles a little. 

“Wha-what?” Dan asks, alarmed, scrambling to his knees. 

Phil turns away, unable to face the disgust and betrayal that was probably on Dan’s face. “Sorry,” he chokes out again, “Shouldn’t have done this.”

“No, Phil,” Dan says, much calmer now, “Look at me.” 

Phil shakes his head. He’s still bracing himself for the fallout.

“Philip Michael Lester, look at me this minute.”

Dan’s tone was firm and frustrated and Phil’s eyes immediately snap to him before he can think better of it. 

“Phil.” Dan’s hands cup his face, like he’s afraid that Phil will turn away again. His eyes are blazing with some unknown emotion and Phil swears he’s never seen someone look more beautiful in his life. “I love you too.”

Phil just blinks. “What?”

“I love you, Phil Lester.” Dan practically growls, his fingers digging almost painfully into his cheeks. 

“What?” Phil asks again, trying and failing to hide a teasing smirk.

Dan rolls his eyes. “Shut up and kiss me, idiot.”

“Hey, that’s no way to talk to the man you’re in love with.” Phil says, but he obliges the command, leaning in and kissing Dan. 

Phil is living right now. His heart felt like it was about to explode. By some godly miracle, Dan returns his feelings. It’s almost too much to process, so Phil simply lets himself be, kissing Dan and savoring every new sensation and flavor hungrily. 

“Can we,” Dan mumbles between kisses, “Can we get back to what we were doing before?”

“You sure?” Phil asks. 

Dan nods shyly, but still grins cheekily up at Phil. 

“Same rules apply?” Phil whispers, smoothing a hand over Dan’s shoulder, amazed at the creamy skin there. “Same boundaries?” 

“Yeah.” Dan breathes, closing his eyes and leaning into the touch. 

“Ok.” Phil says. If Dan wanted their first time together to be rough, then Phil will give him rough. They had plenty of time to be gentle later. 

Phil pushes Dan on his back, pinning his wrists above his head like before as he kisses him. Dan, once again, arches up into the touch. 

“What did I say about keeping those hips on the bed?” Phil whispers darkly into Dan’s ear. 

Dan gives a low whine and flops back on the bed. “Sorry.” 

“That’s ok, baby.” Phil says, reveling in the feeling of the word in his mouth. Judging by the way Dan shivers in delight, he likes it too. “I’m sure you’re going to behave now, yeah? For me?”

“Yeah.” Dan breathes, “For you.”

“Good boy.” whispers Phil, and Dan makes a quiet keening noise at the back of his throat. Phil suspected that Dan would like to be praised and it seems like his suspicions are right, judging by the way Dan’s face turns rosy. “Yeah? Going to be my good boy?”

Dan squirms. “Want to be the best, for you.”

“Good.” Phil noses along the underside of Dan’s jaw. “Now, hold still and let me play with you.”

Dan immediately stills and Phil feels a glow of pride as his boy obeys. Because that’s what Dan is now: _his._

“My boy,” Phil murmurs.

“Yours, all yours.” moans Dan as Phil nips at his collarbone. “Phil, please.”

“Patience.” Phil says sternly. He doesn’t have to look up to know that Dan is pouting. “You’re being so good so far, don’t spoil it now.”

Dan whines a little, but says no more. Phil moves from his collarbones to skim one hand over his chest. 

“God, you’re fit.” he breathes as he smooths his other hand over Dan’s shoulders. “Loved you for ages, you know. Always wondered what you’d feel like, how you’d respond when I did things like this…” Phil moves his hand to one of Dan’s nipples and lightly circles it with a fingertip. 

Dan gives a muted whine. Phil circles again, this time adding a tiny bit of nail. 

“Oh…” Dan moans softly, “That feels nice.”

“Yeah?” Phil asks. “What about this?” He took the nipple between his index finger and thumb and twisted gently.

Dan’s hands flew to his sides and he suddenly had the bedding bunched up in his fists while he lets out a long breath. 

“Har-harder.” Dan pants. 

Phil goes for both nipples this time, pinching and twisting them harshly. Dan writhes around from side-to-side, but his hips still stay on the bed. 

“Phil, stop! Stop!” Dan cries and Phil immediately releases Dan. Dan hadn’t safe-worded, so Phil wasn’t too concerned, but he still waits for Dan to catch his breath. 

“Would’ve come if you continued.” whispers Dan feebly and Phil moves to kiss him on the lips. 

“Mm, is my boy sensitive?” Phil muses. “Look at you. Already a proper wreck and we haven’t even gone below the belt yet.” 

Dan’s face practically glows red as he blushes. “Yeah, my nipples and neck are, like, super sensitive.”

“And yet,” Phil smiles down at the boy lying on the bed, “Your hips stayed on the bed, like I asked. You’re a very obedient boy, aren’t you?”

“Trying.” Dan murmurs, giving a wobbly smile back.

“Well,” Phil eases his hands down Dan’s stomach, “You’ve earned a treat for being so well-behaved. On your stomach, please.”

Phil leans back as Dan scrambles to comply, flipping on his stomach. His hands return to Dan to explore the expanse of his back. He hums in satisfaction as he thumbs over the dimples at the base of Dan’s spine before moving to the waistband of Dan’s boxers. 

“May I take these off?” Phil asks.

Dan, who had buried his face in a pillow, gives a muffled whimper and nods. 

“Thank you.” Phil’s fingers dip under the waistband and slowly, tantalizingly, peel the boxers off to expose the two soft white globes of Dan’s ass. “Fuck.” His voice sounds wrecked already and he feels wrecked. After months and months of fantasizing about this ass, it’s suddenly right there, inches away. 

“Phil…” says Dan in a meek whine, “What are you doing?” 

“I’m going to eat you out.” Phil’s voice trembled a little, but was firm in tone. “And you’re going to let me hear every sound, every moan you make. You’re allowed to move as much as you want. Understand?” 

“Yeah.” Dan croaks. He lifts his hips, pushing his ass further towards Phil, before he collapses back onto the bed, almost like he’s too overwhelmed to hold himself up. 

“Come on.” Phil gently grabs Dan’s calves and guides his legs up the bed. Once Dan was on his knees, face still buried in the bedding, Phil straddles Dan, his legs pressed atop the other boy’s. “Good?”

Dan nods, his face turning to the side so Phil could see only one brown eye and his mussed up fringe. Then, Phil turns his attention back to Dan’s ass. 

He puts his hands on each cheek, squeezing and delighting in the feeling of creamy flesh in his fingers. He carefully spreads Dan, glimpsing the puckered hole. His mouth waters at just the sight. 

“Want to hold yourself open for me, baby?” Phil asks and Dan moves his hands from where they were gripping the sheets and replaces Phil’s. 

Phil wastes hardly any time before ducking his head down and licking a broad stripe over Dan’s hole. Dan makes a soft sound at the back of his throat. 

“Good?” Phil asks. 

“Yeah.” Dan murmurs, “Just feels a little weird.”

“Remember, you can stop this at any time.” Phil says, pressing a kiss to one cheek and squeezing his thighs reassuringly. 

“I know.” says Dan. He pushes his ass a little farther back into Phil’s face. “Continue, please.”

Phil chuckles. “As you wish.” 

His tongue returns to Dan’s hole, lapping wetly around the edges. The muscle dips in shallowly, letting Phil to get a good taste of hot, dark musk. He delves a little deeper before pulling out and returning to light, teasing licks. 

Dan, meanwhile, squirms under Phil’s hands. Phil can hear him whimpering and moaning softly into the pillows. 

“Fuck, you taste amazing.” Phil groans, pulling back after a few minutes. “May I finger you, sweetheart?”

“Yes, please.” Dan whines. “Whatever you want, I’m yours.”

“Mine.” Phil affirms as he sits up, taking a moment to squeeze Dan’s love handles. He reaches over and presses his index finger to Dan’s lips. “Suck it. Get it nice and wet.”

Dan obeys, wrapping a shaky hand around Phil’s wrist and taking the finger into his mouth. 

“Fuck.” Phil mutters as Dan’s tongue flutters around the digit. Dan’s heavy-lidded eyes are holding his own. “You’re a good boy, aren’t you? Would you suck my cock like that?”

Dan breathes out a little giggle before nodding. Phil takes his finger out and leans over to plant a kiss on Dan’s lips, pressing his chest to Dan’s back. 

“Yeah? Would you let me fuck your face?” Phil continues, bringing his finger down and circling Dan’s rim. “Would you take my cock down that throat of yours like a good boy?” He pushes his finger in up to the first knuckle. 

“Yes!” Dan cries out and wiggles under Phil. “Oh God, more, Phil!”

Phil chuckles, giving Dan one last kiss before shuffling back down his body. He continues fingering and licking Dan open, wetting his middle finger with his own spit before sliding it in to join the first. 

“Oh,” Dan gasps, the sound muffled because he’d buried his face into the mattress in overwhelm. When Phil pulls away, he lets out a broken cry. “Wait, please, Phil! Come back!”

“Easy.” Phil replies calmly, pressing a hand on the small of Dan’s back to keep him still. “I’m just getting the lube, ok?”

Dan gives a tiny whine and nods, burrowing his face back into the covers. 

Phil quickly grabs a bottle of lube and a condom, and then climbs back onto the bed. As he rolls on the condom and slicks himself up, he reaches out and grabs a handful of Dan’s ass. 

“Ready, baby?” Phil asks as he kneads the plump flesh and lines himself up with Dan’s entrance. 

Dan merely whimpers in response, swaying his hips, as if Phil needs any more incentive.

As Phil pushes in, inch by inch, he feels the breath punched out of him. Dan’s body is so pliable and soft, and just welcomes Phil in. His boy lets out a drawn-out whine that sounds so pretty, so musical. 

When Phil bottoms out, they both let out a sigh of contentment. Phil leans over Dan’s body, combing his sweaty hair away from the boy’s face.

“You okay, baby?” Phil whispers. The only sounds in the room are his and Dan’s ragged breathing. The single brown eye that Phil can see swivels, looking back at Phil with an animal-like wildness.

“Please.”

The word is soft and quiet, yet so laced with desperation. 

Phil draws his hips back and snaps back into Dan’s ass, reveling in the heat and tightness surrounding his cock.

Phil fucks Dan like a man possessed, delighting in every whimper, whine, and sob he draws out of the boy.

Meanwhile, Dan just begs for more, for Phil to fuck him harder. And Phil obliges, thrusts increasing in speed until he’s actually jackhammering into Dan’s pliant form. Then, he pulls out and flips Dan over on his back, plunging back into him slower, but deeper. He buries his face into the pillow next to Dan’s head, turning to whisper in his ear. He tells Dan how beautiful he is, in this moment and every other moment since Phil first saw him. He talks about the future he’s always imagined with Dan. 

All the while, Dan is crying and unable to speak, tears streaming down his red face and soft gurgles coming out of his mouth. 

Sensing his overwhelm, Phil reaches down between them and wraps a hand around Dan’s cock.

“Such a good boy,” Phil murmurs as he jerks Dan’s cock in his fist. He can feel himself hurling towards the edge of oblivion, so his voice comes out brokenly. “I want us to cum together, Dan. Can you do that? Can you cum with me?”

“Yes!” Dan grits out with a hysterical sob. And then, he’s cumming, spurting hotly into Phil’s hand.

Phil gives one final thrust and his vision whites out. He’s aware he’s moaning and spilling into the condom, but the whole world was exploding behind his eyelids. He wasn’t sure when he closed his eyes. 

After several minutes of floating, Phil slowly comes into himself. The first thing he notices is he’s still inside Dan and he had collapsed on top of him. The next was that Dan was still crying, silent sobs wracking his body.

“Oh my god, are you okay?” Phil asks, startling out of his post-sex haze and trying to scramble off of Dan’s body. Fuck, shit, he’d never forgive himself if he hurt Dan during this.

Dan, however, wraps his legs around Phil’s waist to prevent him from pulling away. “Stay,” he croaks. “Please.”

Phil stills and waits, watching with concern as Dan wipes away the tears and snot from his face.

“I’m okay.” Dan breathes, body still shaking, “I’ve always been a crier after a really good orgasm.”

Phil sighs in relief, pushing Dan’s sweaty bangs away from his face and kissing his forehead. “Oh, good.” He grins down at the other boy. “So, I can take those tears as a compliment?”

“Shut up!” Dan snorts, whacking Phil on the chest with his hand. 

Phil chuckles. “Let me clean us up, okay?”

Dan grumbles, but allows Phil up. Phil quickly disposes of the condom and gets a damp washcloth and wipes them both off. By the time he gets back, Dan had burrowed himself deep in Phil’s covers, a content smile on his face.

Phil climbs into bed, pulling Dan close. “How are you feeling?”

“Drunk,” Dan giggles as he snuggles into Phil’s chest. “And so happy.”

“So, you liked it?” 

“Fuck yeah, I did.” Dan mumbles drowsily. “I love you, Phil.”

Phil chuckles.

“I love you too, Dan, so much.”


End file.
